Survival Strategies for ADHD / Using "the power to be helped" as a weapon #ADHD In a job search I have the ability to be helped! I owe the great sales results on my resume to the people around me! I was hired by an executive, who said, "In sales, everyone is so unique in that they all say 'presentation skills' at interviews, but I'm so unique, lol. Make friends with people of the same sex. To be honest, I'm not good with large groups, so I don't go to drinking parties. (I wish I could say hello in the morning with more energy, but it's too hard to do so.) The first thing I did was to "talk to them in the bathroom. It's definitely better to get to know the women first. Women, or rather, the same sex. Dress cute, got a haircut, changed your hair? It's cold today. If they blow their nose, do you have a cold? Anyway, if you can convey that you want to get to know them, it's ok. I'm the type of person who gets excited about cute people, so I'll tell them what I think. By the way, when I ask if they cut their hair, they say, "Hmm? I didn't cut it. It's okay if they say, "No, I didn't. I just want the person to know that I want to talk to them, so even if it's a little bit crude, it's acceptable. I mean, create a character that is acceptable. What? What? You cut me off a month ago. "Wow, I realized it a month late!" And that's fine. In my case, I often mention my hair because I feel uncomfortable with my makeup, so don't worry about that and just talk to them as often as you can! I also use the above method to talk to the first person I talk to. I was anxious about changing jobs...what should I do to get used to the new workplace quickly?" 🙆♂️. Anyway, talk to people in the company!" 🙆♂️ I just practiced what I was told to do. To be exact, after a week of trying to implement the advice after hearing it the first time I asked the same person, "I'm trying to do what you said the other day, but I can't because I don't have a good time to talk to you 😭". 🙆♂️"Just use the bathroom at first! More women to chat with!" I was told 🙆♂️"Just go to the restroom at first! I was like 🙆♂️"Just use the restroom at first! The wisdom of the ancients is truly great! Become an "honest person who follows advice There are many cases where you can't put advice based on chit-chat into practice. Maybe even more so if you are a developmental person. That's why it's important to say It's important to say "I tried it and it didn't go well here 😭" the second time you talk to them. The other person will not feel bad because he/she is an honest person who will do exactly what you say and will ask for more help. The best thing to do is to say It's even better if you can say, "I did this, but this part doesn't seem to be working, and I'd like to improve it next time. In this communication, you can get an idea of what type of person this person is, which will lead to more accurate advice the next time. Showing Motivation with Props I was going to write about what I do, but then I thought about it. (1) Get advice (2) Implement it (3) Report back after implementation That's all. I'm not sure if I can do it with my short-term memory or not. Then I try to do it with some tools. If I still can't do it, I report it to them and they will think about it. If you give them advice like, "To be able to make sales, you need to be able to answer a question about your own project in a flash! If you give them advice like, "I can't do that. I can't do that, so I started taking a 100-size whiteboard to the office, writing down the projects and leaving it there. I started to take a whiteboard and write down the projects at work, because it was impossible for me to do it. If you don't have a short-term memory, you will be seen as unmotivated, so you can use props to make it easier to follow up and achieve your goal: "I'm motivated, but I'm forgetful. If you buy a vibrating stopwatch (you can use it at work because it vibrates) and bring it with you, you may get a "what's that for? I asked around, "Seriously, I can't keep track of time, so I'd like to have a clock on my computer all the time. I couldn't use the vibrator at work because the sound was unexpectedly loud. I tried to use it to feel the fear of the sound and limit the noise, but I forgot to turn it off and the sound was so loud that people laughed at me, or I installed the software but couldn't operate it because it was written in English, so it didn't really work. But it's easier to be helped, and it's getting better, millimeter by millimeter. If people around me know that I'm making that extra millimeter of effort (and I make a little appeal to let them know, lol), the way they look at me and the way they help me will change a lot, even if the result is the same "I'm not doing well. Turn your difficulties into laughter and elicit "teasing advice". Personally, I never say "I can't do it" even if I think it's because of ADHD. I'll say, "I've got terrible memory loss, so I can't do it - I'm writing it down like this, how are you doing it?" I write it down like this. It takes mental stamina, but rather than simply telling them you can't do something, tell them while laughing. The other person will smile and say, "You have amnesia, don't you? They will smile and say, "You have amnesia, don't you? I try to create an atmosphere in which they can easily give me advice while I tease them by turning what I am not good at into a laugh. This is difficult to do without acceptance, though. Understand the personalities of people in your company and build a "relationship base". This is gross, but I keep a personality trend notebook of people in my company 📓. What do they like and what type of things make them happy? Do they like to tease or be teased? Do you like cocky juniors, how do you like to be stood up ...... The things my seniors at my last job told me to do for my sales skills are exactly what I'm doing for my internal sales skills. To improve my ability to be helpful, I should just ask them to "teach me" what they are good at. To do that, I need to know what I'm good at and why I'm good at it. And to do that, you need to know what you are good at and why you are good at it (including what makes you happy). So, I make a note of whether this compliment made them really happy or not. When he is really happy, he is slovenly and doesn't say anything socially. When you say to a beautiful woman, "You're beautiful!" but they only say, "Thank you 😊. I speak to understand what is important to the other person and then I speak to understand. Recently, I noticed that my seniors who are good at their jobs are the ones who are told, "Wow! but I'm not the one who is told "wow! I think she is a character to be bullied by nature. I thought that I was a bit of a teasing character when I saw him talking with the top people and their reaction to him. I thought, "Well, he's a man who can do it! A man who can do it! and he seemed to hit the jackpot. The other person started to get involved with me. The reason why I can make the above mentioned teasing to my senpai is because I can make the above-mentioned teasing to my senpai because I've been doing the cycle of advice→do→report 2.3 times a week. I'm not the person who should be teaching me, but I've been asking a lot of him. I'm not the one who should be teaching him, but he asks me a lot and before I know it, I'm on-the-job training. This is the foundation of our relationship. People around me know that I respect them, so they laugh at the slightest hint of rudeness. Points to keep in mind so that "asking for advice" does not become rude I was worried that the person I was asking for advice might not like it... (1) Establish the criteria for what is "acceptable" to ask. Just by doing that, the mental burden will be totally different! The other two points are (2) How to ask for advice (3) How to take time This may be a common way to care. (1) Establish the criteria for "acceptable to ask" with the other party. If you don't understand something after 10 minutes of looking for it in the company intranet, you can ask. Or, in my previous job, I was told, "Ask me anything, anytime! (I didn't say "anytime"). (I didn't say "always") so that the other party doesn't get fed up and say, "You should at least look it up...". I put a pillow word, "I don't know if you know how to look it up, but...". If you use a pillow, the other person can say, "No, this way of research is fine. or "I might be able to look this up too. Or, after you ask them. Or, after asking, "This is how I did it this time, should I do it again? Is there anyone I should ask?" to show that you don't want to take up the other person's time. When asking for advice, copy the other person's thought pattern. When asking for advice, copy their thought patterns and ask questions so that you can "think about how that person would respond" to a different case. (How did you know how to respond to this? (How did you know this response? This way, the depth of understanding will be different after one advice, and the other person will think "Oh, you want to grow up, don't you? It is worthwhile to teach them because they feel like they have actually learned something. Even if it's just internal clerical work. Or, rather, the office staff likes salespeople who care about reducing their workload by doing this, so they are not so lenient if a mistake is made as a result of "I'm sorry I asked you the other day...! and they are lenient when mistakes are made as a result. I'm the king of omission, omission, omission, so I'm usually making mistakes in my paperwork. I've never been harshly criticized, even by my sister, who is rumored to be scary within the company. I think it's partly because I ask for her advice before pointing it out. On the other hand, I've never heard her say to another person, "What? This office staff is so cold! I'm surprised. The person who is asking can't get the whole picture of what they don't know (if they knew, they wouldn't have to ask), so they get nervous because they don't know if it's an appropriate question or not, and the person who is being asked (first of all, they have to be self-disciplined). The person being asked tends to think, "You need to deal with it yourself first.... We will discuss how well they are coping with the question. (For example, "Will you look it up for 15 minutes?", "Where will you look it up, what words, who will you ask, etc.? By repeating the process of comparing the results, you can broaden your own coping skills, and the person who is asked can comfortably teach you (I'm sure you don't understand even after looking up to this point). (I wonder if it's OK to ask this...). What is Contribution for No-Skill ADHD? At the root of my ability to help is a sense of "overall optimization," which was the most memorable part of my new graduate training. I have no skills, but I am able to do what I can do and make sales. I am not a skilled person, but I can do it and make sales for the company as a whole. However, the people who teach me are also human beings, so they don't want to take up my time, so they start by giving me their time comfortably. I often cause trouble because I can't do things that are more commonplace than others (I was written on the evaluation form that it was unbelievable that I was so late in my first year), so I thought, "I'll try not to cause trouble..." Instead of "I'll try not to cause trouble," I said, "I'll try not to cause trouble. I decided to "return the favor" instead of "try not to cause trouble...". I'm glad that working on the premise that I can't do anything on my own is I'm glad to know that it has led to evaluation and results. It's very useful. I have a child in my company who may be developmental. I want to show this to her. I want to show it to her. It will be helpful for my own measures. The concept of "power to be helped" is a very good concept for personal independence before working hard or whatever. It's a common phrase, but it's really important. This is a concrete example of the "I'm trying, I'm trying presentation" that many people, especially those with autism, are unable to do. Super informative. However, it takes autistics 10 to 15 years to be able to read the meaning and essence of what is written here. I am not good at this kind of thing, but I think it is an important power. People who can use the resources around them are strong.