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    I’m a recovering OCD(obsessive-compulsive disorder) sufferer, any questions? / #AMA #OCD

    I'm a recovering OCD(obsessive-compulsive disorder) sufferer, any questions?     #AMA #OCD
    
    
    
    I'll answer anything but potentially identifying information. 
    
    
    
    What have you been doing since your recovery? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Still in remission? I'm not completely cured. I tried to force myself back into society and failed once, so I'm still a NEET... 
    
    
    
    Actually, everyone hates you. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Awww, please don't do that. 
    If I were you a while ago, I wouldn't have been able to keep the grass on the ground. 
    
    
    
    You can't cure a disability, that's why it's a disability. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    That's true. 
    To be honest, I don't think I'll ever be cured. 
    
    
    
    What are the specs? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    27 years old, male. 
    After taking a leave of absence, he couldn't return to work and resigned. 
    It's been two years since I started treatment this past August. 
    
    
    
    Is the back of your keyboard dirty? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Awww, it's fine. 
    My obsession isn't with dirt or anything. 
    
    
    
    What are you afraid of? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Simply put, what people are thinking. No matter how much they smile, in their gut... they're just curious. 
    
    
    
    First, give me some simple specs and a medical condition. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Sorry about that. 
    I started thinking that everyone, except my close ones, friends and family, hate me, and then I started worrying about it. 
    First I suspected myself of having sugar, but the doctor said I didn't have sugar. 
    At the onset, I couldn't even go outside because I was afraid of people talking or laughing. 
    I thought it might be a hallucination, so I recorded it, but the doctor confirmed that it wasn't a hallucination. 
    Well, it was caused by power harassment. 
    
    
    
    >>I'm not sure if I can trust my family... 
    It's hard not to trust your family... 
    What did the harasser do to you? Bad words? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Mm, something like that. I guess "bad-mouthing" is the right word, since it was so obvious. 
    I went to the completely wrong department for support, and got beat to a pulp. 
    
    
    
    How is that different from avoidant personality disorder? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I didn't know the details, so I had to do a quick google search, but I thought it might be this one... I thought it might be this one... 
    It's pretty much the same thing. 
    
    
    
    Did you lose your cell phone, wallet, keys? 
    Are you okay? 
    Did you turn off the gas? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm home now. I'm fine. 
    I don't know why I'm so careless in that area. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    What were your symptoms like when they first appeared? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I couldn't sleep. 
    I couldn't sleep even though I was tired, and I became more and more doubtful. 
    I thought it was like the Hinamizawa Syndrome. 
    
    
    
    Did you get back at him? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I wanted to settle the matter after discussing it with my boss and HR, but I didn't have any conclusive evidence. 
    I could have gotten back at them by stabbing them in the back through HR, but I didn't because I didn't want to be in the same boat as them. 
    
    
    
    I went to a psychiatrist who gave me anti-depressants and sleeping pills. 
    Along with counseling. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    plus tranquilizers, but now I'm down to just anti-depressants and sleeping pills. 
    I'm afraid I'll relapse now that the doctor has started to reduce the dosage of the anti-depressants... 
    
    
    
    >>I'm afraid I'm going to relapse... 
    So you quit your job and faded out without even talking to your harasser? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I tried before I talked to my boss and HR in my department. 
    I'm sure I would have added fuel to the fire if I hadn't been so close to them. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    You didn't tell them... 
    If what you've said so far is true, you might be in a bit of trouble. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    What do you mean... 
    
    
    
    >> 
    The guy who was harassing you probably hates you even more. 
    A lot of the people who helped you out must have bad feelings toward you, saying that you're wasting their time and their money. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I think you're right, he was a total pain in the ass to his boss and to the office, and he left with only the strangest bombshells. 
    I think I could have handled it a little better now. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    The doctor who took care of you in particular is pretty annoyed with you. 
    He's dealing with a psychotic person who's a pain in the ass every single day, and he's laughing and thinking, "Just die already, you useless bastard. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm sorry if I would have been in a skeptical mode before, but I'm sorry. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Well, your mental stability right now is probably thanks to the meds. 
    If you stop taking them, you'll fall apart again. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Get a hobby. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    There aren't many hobbies that don't cost a lot of money... I guess it's great if you can do it alone and move your body a little. 
    I do some running once in a while. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I do sometimes run. Then get a part time job and get a girlfriend first. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'd like to do some part-time work to rehabilitate myself, but I can't seem to make up my mind. I guess I'm just spoiled. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm sure the people around you still don't get mad at you, they just laugh at you, don't they? 
    They'll mend and laugh at you with pity and hatred in their hearts. 
    Of course, no matter how you look at it, you're just a person who doesn't work and is a burden to others. 
    They don't think well of you. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Okay, wow. 
    I'll take it seriously. Thanks for the advice. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'll take it to heart, but it's useless. 
    You can't take the label of "psycho" off of me. 
    You know what happens when you go off your meds? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Well, you might not make it without the meds. 
    Now that I'm on them, I'm out of my mind. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    In a way, I feel sorry for you. 
    Everything you thought was a "cure" was just a bunch of chemicals to suppress your symptoms. 
    What do you think? If, in fact, your disease wasn't getting any better at all... 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Well, isn't that what medicine is generally about? 
    If you're not getting any better, that's too bad, but that's just the way it is. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    The problem is that you can't recognize it correctly and call it "on the verge of cure". 
    There is no cure for mental illness, at best it is remission. In other words, you could relapse at any time. 
    And you are just suppressing it with drugs.... 
    
    
    
    You just don't have enough spirit, so make an effort, scum. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I think you're right, sir. 
    For better or worse, it's easier here because you guys say what you really think... 
    
    
    
    At any rate, you were injected... 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm not sure if the injection is like a sedative or not. I was just bummed out on my own, so I didn't get an injection. 
    
    
    
    If you were going to stop anyway, you should have taken your power harassment partner along with you. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Of course I thought about taking them with me, but being a chicken, I couldn't do it. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    The company's personnel and doctors were very kind to you, weren't they? It's a sign that you're hiding your ill feelings. 
    
    
    
    You're aware that you're on the road to recovery, aren't you? 
    What are you worried about now? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I think it's the sound of people talking and laughing. 
    It's not so much that I'm afraid of them, but that I can't help but hear them. 
    
    
    
    Passage 
    I'm sure they're smiling on the surface, but behind the scenes they're talking shit. 
    
    
    
    It will get better. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm fine, thanks. 
    Well, there really are a lot of different kinds of people out there, aren't there? 
    To be honest, the hardest part is that I've always had to take a step back. 
    Is this normal? I don't know if I've been too careless with other people before. 
    
    
    
    Maybe it's the recession, or maybe it's the fact that everything is becoming more belligerent, or maybe it's the fact that everything is so cutthroat. 
    You should at least have one friend you can trust. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm fortunate to have a few friends who are close to me, but they're all far away. 
    The only people I can talk to without getting crazy are my friends and family. 
    
    
    
    Did you lock your house? 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm home, so it's open. 
    
    
    
    I saw you yesterday. 
    Me, too. 
    I don't mean to hunt you down, but... 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm sure you saw me yesterday. 
    You know, it's not funny to stir up this kind of stuff. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Why are you sticking around? 
    You're just too creepy. 
    
    
    
    Give me some communication tips. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'd like to be taught... 
    I wonder how I can get rid of this strange posturing or suspicion towards others. 
    
    
    
    I've always lived by the motto, "Don't do to others what you don't want to do to you," but lately I've been wondering why I couldn't realize that some people don't mind doing things that I don't want to do to them. 
    
    
    
    Well, you just have to live your life to the extent that it doesn't break down. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I know, but I'm waiting for the collapse. 
    I wish I could live more independently. 
    
    
    
    I had a panic disorder because I was anxious about not having a job. 
    When I have a job, I don't have any symptoms at all, regardless of whether I'm stressed or not. 
    I'm looking for a job right now and had an attack yesterday. 
    I'm anxious about not having an income. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    Stress and anxiety are different for each person. 
    I don't care what other people do or think! I guess there are some people who just don't care what other people do or think. 
    Take it easy. 
    
    
    
    It's a disease that can be cured by joining the army. 
    
    
    
    >>I'm sure it's a disease that can be cured if you join the army. 
    I don't have the physical strength to do well in the army... 
    But I can see how it could be cured. 
    
    
    
    I was diagnosed with ADHD the other day. 
    I couldn't handle multiple tasks at my new company, and I couldn't even do monotonous tasks, so I went to the hospital because I got gastroenteritis due to stress. 
    I think the psychiatrist also diagnosed me with obsessive-compulsive disorder. 
    I wonder if I should tell this to the company after all... 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm suspected of having ADHD too. 
    I don't know because I haven't actually been tested. 
    I think you should hide it as much as possible from the company if you can. 
    Unless they are very understanding. 
    
    
    
    I used to take a max of 6 depromer pills under duress. 
    It was hard when I heard about a patient taking it overseas who hijacked it and it was banned in the US. 
    Fortunately, I didn't experience any strong side effects (no loss of libido). 
    But they reduced the dosage. 
    I'm sure the maximum dose for depression is 3 pills, but I was wondering if it's safe. 
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm on 10mg Lexapro. 
    The only side effect is drowsiness. 
    Are you feeling better now? 
    Let me know if you're doing anything special to get rid of the obsessive thoughts. 
    
    
    
    Oh, I know they don't sell depromer in the US, but you mean luvox. 
    Depro is a generic version of Luvox. 
    
    

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