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    I’m developmentally disabled and bipolar II, any questions? / #AMA #DevelopmentalDisorder

    I'm developmentally disabled and bipolar II, any questions?     #AMA #DevelopmentalDisorder 
    
    
    
    I'd love it if you could help me. 
    Sorry if I fell asleep. 
    
    
    
    Let me know the specs. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Female, 25, normal face, body shape, etc. 
    She works as a contractor or a temp. 
    Freelancer? I don't know. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Bipolar disorder is as in the slate. 
    The developmental one is pervasive developmental disorder of unspecified type. 
    
    
    
    
    Or manic-depression as it used to be called. 
    Like the guy who chased a junior high school student around in his car while yelling at him and then killed himself when it became a big issue in the press. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Is the manic-depressive disorder the cause of this case? 
    I can't judge for myself because manic outbreaks vary so much. 
    
    
    
    
    How much does the developmental disability interfere with your daily life? 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Sensory disturbance is the hardest. Especially hearing. 
    The sounds of daily life reverberate in my head like a stabbing sensation. 
    I can't go to see fireworks, and when I was in school, I had to cover my ears during the gymnastics festival. 
    I don't like to be touched. It's gross. 
    Relationships are often referred to, especially in my case. 
    I was aware that I was a little crazy, so I learned to be "normal. 
    I was diagnosed when I was 21. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm fine with cheerful mania, but I don't want to be angry mania. If I went to a doctor, he would have judged me as manic-depressive, but I would have said, "I am not sick! Don't put me with the crazies!" I wish they would see a doctor. 
    I wish they would see a doctor. Old stubborn old men think that mental illness = crazy, so they never want to admit that they are mentally ill, and that's what's so bad. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm sorry to hear that... 
    But no one is manic forever! 
    When they switch to depression, they look back at their manic selves and their depression accelerates. 
    Manic people are really out of control. 
    I've heard that it's not that uncommon, because sometimes the brain secretes the wrong chemicals, and I should go and see a doctor just to be sure, or... 
    It's hard to say. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Sometimes it was every 2-3 months, sometimes it would change within a month. 
    Luckily I found the right medication and now I've been in remission for a year and a half. 
    Very peaceful! 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Or should I say I'm glad I'm 21. 
    I was shocked, but more satisfied. 
    
    
    
    
    I forgot to write about the inconveniences in my daily life 
    I have prosopagnosia. I can't remember faces. 
    This is really inconvenient. 
    Even my boss, whom I'm supposed to see every day for a year, I don't recognize him when I see him outside the office. 
    If I'm in my office, I can recognize him by his clothes or his voice. 
    
    
    
    
    Since you don't seem to have any questions, I'll talk about it on my own. 
    
    Let me tell you about my manic episodes. 
    When I'm manic, I'm like, "I want to make love to everyone in the world! I love you all, I love you all, I love you all! 
    I can't stop the overflow of it. 
    The world seems more colorful than usual, what a wonderful and beautiful world! 
    Tension went beyond the sky. 
    Everything I saw was sparkling in my eyes. 
    I started to call out to anyone and everyone, drinking, going to karaoke, and then going back to work in the morning. 
    I can live like this nonstop without sleep for about three days. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    I did some research and it seems that most type II's are the type that light up when they're manic. 
    I've heard that a lot of artists are manic-depressive because they can see that wonderful world without using drugs or something. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    When I heard about the drugs, I was surprised because that's exactly the same state I'm in when I'm manic. 
    It's true that you feel the urgency to do something, so maybe the arts are the perfect place for you to be. 
    But the more intense the mania, the worse the depression. 
    And more importantly, when you're manic, you're more likely to do things you can't take back. 
    
    
    
    
    I knew someone who was cheerful and active during the day when everyone was playing together, but when he was alone at night, he became depressed. 
    Is he an ultra-ultra-rapid cycler? 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    It's tough when it gets to that point. 
    I hope she settles down soon. 
    A lot of people look like they're having fun when they're manic, but they're having a hard time. 
    I've heard of people who look like they're having fun, but they're having fun, but they're having fun, but they're having fun, but they're having fun, but they're having fun. 
    It's like, "Oh, I'm having fun, but someone should stop me. 
    But most of them are in a state of "Oh, I can't do this. 
    I think that when everyone around you says it's impossible, you just have to leave it alone. 
    
    
    
    
    When I'm depressed, I really can't do anything. 
    I can't even move from the bed to the table to take water when I'm thirsty. 
    Even going to the bathroom is a hassle. 
    (But I crawled to the bathroom with what little self-respect I had left.) 
    I don't have the mental capacity to do the cultural thing of taking a bath. 
    I feel like I want to die, but maybe I don't. 
    I wonder if I could do something about it if I stimulated it, like an appliance. 
    I'm tired of rinsing and wiping. 
    I'm tired of the effort of dying. 
    
    
    
    
    Why don't you go to the hospital? 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    I didn't. 
    I went to a psychiatrist when I had a manic episode, and I thought, "This is crazy, this is absolutely crazy. 
    It wasn't a big deal that I was manic. 
    I was lucky with the medications I was given. 
    I kept a diary and did a lot of self-care. 
    Maybe the biggest thing is that I didn't tell him I was setting myself up for suicide. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Are you manic now? 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Normal. 
    I'm taking Halcion and Amoban. 
    I've been taking Halcion and Amoban, but I'm getting strangely active in my head, even though they're sleep inducing drugs. 
    I'm prone to forgetfulness, so maybe I'll forget about this thread tomorrow. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    You should definitely be hospitalized. 
    You're more dangerous than I am. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    But this is a drug that's supposed to cause amnesia. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'd rather be in the hospital if I'm having suicidal thoughts than if I'm having amnesia. 
    You don't think suicide is a normal state of mind, do you? 
    
    
    
    
    >> Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mislead you. 
    Oh, I'm sorry, that was misleading. 
    Suicide attempt was 3 years ago. 
    I've been in remission for 1.5 years. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    If it happens again, you should definitely be hospitalized. 
    You don't want to kill yourself or something like that just for the heck of it. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    You're absolutely right. 
    I'm definitely going to do that. 
    Thank you for all you've said. 
    
    
    
    
    My suicide attempts were triggered when I went from depressed to manic. 
    When I was depressed, I had a hard time dying, but when I got manic, I was really motivated. 
    I decided to do the hydrogen sulfide thing that's so popular right now. 
    It's very hard to prepare for it. 
    I gave it up halfway through and went to buy a rope to hang myself. 
    I enjoyed pedaling the bike so much that I ended up spending about 10 hours that day? I didn't take a break and just kept pedaling the bike. 
    I felt like I had accomplished something, and I stopped killing myself. 
    
    
    
    
    It seems that manic-depression can be cured with medication. 
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    I don't know if it can be cured or suppressed. 
    I'll be on meds for the rest of my life until some revolutionary discovery is made. 
    Manic-depression seems to have remission, but no cure. 
    
    
    
    
    Have you ever fucked a guy you weren't close to when you were manic? 
    
    
    
    
    You're an aspie, right? 
    Sugar, right? 
    Developmental disorder? 
    Mengele? 
    
    I see it used too lightly as an abusive term. 
    I felt as if all the patients including myself were being looked down upon. 
    I've been bothered by it for a long time. 
    I understand that it's internet slang, but I can't explain it. 
    I wanted to rethink whether I am a creature that needs to be abused unconditionally. 
    I wanted to look again. 
    I didn't find the answer, but I will look for it again when I want to. 
    
    To those who responded to my question, and to those who stayed with me 
    Thank you very much. 
    Good night. 
    

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