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    ADHD Workplace Woes: “Stooping,” “Not Being Able to Ask People for Help,” and “Not Believing in Myself” / #ADHD

    ADHD Workplace Woes: "Stooping," "Not Being Able to Ask People for Help," and "Not Believing in Myself" 
    
    
    
    Sunday's story. 
    Come on, let's get some sleep. I'm off work... 
    
    →The phone rings before my alarm time. It was the company. 
    I was scheduled to hand over an important item to a colleague who was going on an overseas business trip that day, first thing in the morning at the airport. 
    
    Unless I had a door anywhere, I would not make it to the airport in time. I had completely forgotten about it until I was told on the phone. 
    My colleague ended up canceling the flight. He was very sarcastic. 
    
    I made the same mistake three times. The first two times were for nothing important, so I was lucky. 
    I had been warned that there would be no next time, and since I had caused so much damage, I was sure to be fired this time. 
    
    I went to work today. I'm sure the boss has already heard about the fiasco. 
    Ah... I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep. I want to escape. Whether I escape or not, I'm entering the world of unemployment. 
    
    
    I just feel self-loathing. 
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Ugh... I don't know how to say this, but I can totally imagine what it's like to be me, and my heart is pounding. 
    All I can say is, I'm on your side! I'm on your side... 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    The question is, would you be able to say the same thing to someone who cancels your flight without getting angry? 
    I think I would be angry. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    You should go to a hospital or a developmental disability center. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    When they offer you an assignment. 
    I set the alarm before I forget it," and then 
    and show it to other people to make sure it is set properly. 
    I'm not sure if I can do it on my own, so I'll call someone to follow up. 
    Use the people around you more when it matters. 
    Even if they think you're brazen, it's a much better impression than if you fail. 
    
    I know it's too late to say this, but for future reference... 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    It's not easy for adhd with low self-esteem. 
    Vicious circle is doomed... (cry) 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Hmmm? I think it's because you have low self-esteem that you can ask for help. 
    I'm not much of a person. I can't do without help. 
    It's an act of revealing your low self-esteem. 
    The reason you can't ask for help is because you have a strange pride. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    It's hard to ask for help, but you ask for it, and then you're labeled as crazy, and then you're fired. 
    right? 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Are you a psychopath who doesn't know how to understand human feelings? 
    You don't understand anything, do you? 
    
    You have no self-respect, so you think you shouldn't involve others. 
    You have no self-respect, so you don't want to bring others into it, and you have to endure it alone because you have an endless fear of being rejected. 
    
    Behind the unconsciousness that makes you ask others for favors... 
    You must realize that your self-love is excessive. 
    
    I think there are a lot of people with ADHD who can't even maintain that self-love because they are filled with aversion. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Not at all. 
    I'm so aware that I'm a mess that I'm afraid of making a mistake that I can't recover from. 
    I'm afraid of damaging the company, of being scorned by others, of the guilt that comes afterwards, of everything. 
    I live every day with flashbacks of past mistakes. 
    There's no way I'm going to ask them for a favor, and that's exactly what I'm going to do. 
    If I were in the other person's shoes, I would think, "If you're not sure you can pull this off, just say so from the start. 
    That's why I'm shamelessly asking for help. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    First of all, you have to understand that there are people with ADHD who have a hard time doing that. 
    The person you're talking to is probably thinking, "He's going to ask me to do this again. Are you really sick?" They're probably thinking, "Are you sick? 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm a colleague of mine who was fired three months ago. 
    I was in charge of printing envelopes for greeting cards to be sent to clients. 
    As a result, I wasted about 500 envelopes. 
    
    I was in charge of printing the layout of the envelopes, and I had to check with the bureau in advance to make sure it was OK. 
    I checked the layout of the envelopes with the bureau in advance and got their OK. 
    (Some had a lot of letters in the address, some had a few, etc.) 
    The one with many letters happened to be for an overseas address. 
    I interpreted the same layout as OK for domestic addresses with many letters, and printed all the envelopes with that layout. 
    I printed all of them with that layout. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Why couldn't you use the same layout as the foreign ones? 
    I was told that it was OK to print all domestic addresses with a large number of letters. 
    My common sense doesn't quite grasp the situation... 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    
    When we had printed about 1,000 copies and were just about to mail them, I suddenly came down with acute gastroenteritis. 
    So I asked the bureau and other colleagues to do the mailing work. 
    Three days later, I returned to work and apologized for the trouble I had caused during my vacation. 
    The bureaucrat slammed about 500 envelopes on my desk with a terrible look on her face. and slammed them on my desk. 
    She then asked me, "What's this layout? We all redid it while you were on vacation! 
    You're wasting so much paper! You should be ashamed of yourself! 
    He yelled at me in front of my co-workers. 
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    I was sick and I had worked so hard to get the job done. 
    I was so frustrated that I couldn't say anything, even though I should have apologized. 
    After a while, I was recommended to be fired. 
    
    I don't want to be an office worker for the rest of my life because of the trauma. 
    Sorry for the series of posts. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >>I'm sorry. 
    I'm not sure if it's better than leaving the company voluntarily after being mistreated. 
    
    In that example, it sounds like it would have been better if they had just made a domestic one when the foreign one was done, so there would have been no confusion. 
    I think that's exactly the characteristic of not being good at simultaneous work. 
    I'm told a lot of things, but I either can't get the new information into my head, or I just kick the old stuff out... 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Oh, it was the same thing with all the vertical writing, both foreign and domestic. 
    What I was told was the position of the line breaks. 
    I thought maybe they forgot that I had OK'd it the first time? I thought so, but there was no atmosphere to ask such a thing. 
    I don't know if I was missing something or not, and I don't know if it was a mistake. 
    I don't know, and now I don't know which was worse. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Did you do anything like scheduling & alarms on your phone? 
    If so, I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy for you. 
    
    The main rule for ADHD is "don't trust yourself" when it comes to scheduling and memory. 
    You have to take multiple layers of precautions based on the assumption that you can never remember on your own. 
    We have brains similar to people with dementia or higher brain dysfunction. 
    We have brains similar to those of people with dementia or higher brain dysfunction. is a common occurrence, so don't trust yourself when it comes to memory. 
    I always forget things as time goes by, so I make a note of important things on the spot, or register them on my smartphone. 
    If you put it off, you will repeat it again and again. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    Don't trust yourself, that's an ironclad rule. 
    I dare say that if I were more trustworthy and confident, it would be easier to ask others for favors. 
    I'd have a better chance of completing what I need to do and being able to thank them for it. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    It's hard to ask for help when people are always looking at you with a white eye. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    I'm not comfortable asking for help, so I try to do it on my own. 
    And so on. 
    I know it's hard to ask for help, but I'm going to go out on a limb and ask for it. 
    Which is easier? 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    I can't do anything that people ask me to do, and I'm not very good at asking people to do things for me. 
    Maybe it's because my brother was severely mentally retarded and I had to be firm, but I was just like him. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    I don't even have the confidence to ask people for favors. 
    I'm afraid to involve them. 
    And for individuals who are just barely considered normal. 
    I'm afraid of opening myself up to people thinking, "That's a crazy thing to ask for. 
    
    Anyway, it's hard. 
    Maybe people who don't have ADHD will "never" understand 
    
    On the other hand, we will die "forever" without knowing the peace of normalcy 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    I know what you mean. 
    Instead, we are very sensitive to the fact that other people want to ask us for something 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    I understand that ADHD is a lot of things. 
    I'm just trying to give you an idea of what my priorities are. 
    "Are you sick of ......?" I'm getting to the point where I'm afraid people will think I'm sick, and they probably are. 
    
    I'm not very good at expressing or communicating.... I'm sorry if I offended anyone. 
    
    
    
    
    
    >> 
    I think there are a lot of developmental people who are different from others, but act like others. 
    I think there are a lot of developmental people who are different from others but act like others. 
    I think it's a big mistake to try to follow the normal way of behavior when it's not normal. 
    But I'm still worried about being seen. 
    People will think that we are writing down every little thing. 
    So, I think it is better for us developmental people to do work that is not seen by others. 
    Or, if I can somehow gain the understanding of the workplace (I know it's a lot of work), I might be able to do more than normal work. 
    
    

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